Who am I? Self and identity narratives told by second-generation ex-members of high control cultic groups. A life story narrative inquiry

This Life Story Narrative Inquiry explores the stories told of self and identity by four individuals who identified themselves as having been raised from infancy in high control, cultic groups and who subsequently left.

When a person leaves a group of this kind they often do not leave behind just group membership, or a belief system. They can leave behind material provisions such as housing, employment, finance and possessions, but on a more personal level they may leave behind a partner, family, friends, a complete social network and, at a psychological level, a sense of attachment, support, security, and identity: who they feel that they are as a person.

Research into the issues facing members who leave suggests that adjusting to life and self after leaving can be compounded by experiences of shame, guilt, ongoing belief in the ideology, the residual impact of possible thought-reform techniques, and previous trauma, both physical and psychological whilst in the group.

For those born into high-control cultic groups, the second and multi-generational, the challenges can be greater, particularly in terms of understanding who they believe themselves to be. Who am I without the group identity?

Research that focuses on the meaning making and experiences of self and identity is limited and this research increases the knowledge in this area. Conversational Life Story Narrative interviews were carried out bringing together a multiplicity of experiences of self, other, group and the wider world. Personal timelines were used as an anchor point to facilitate reflection at different life stages, using the research conversation as a vessel, holding the potential for identity to be storied and re-storied, constructed and re-constructed. The narratives and the meaning making within them were explored and reflected upon. Researcher reflexivity was an integral part of this process.

The aims of the research were two-fold: to support the understanding of a mental health practitioner who might, in the course of their work, meet a person who has experience of being a member of high-control cultic environments, and to demonstrate to affected individuals that they are not alone.

What is personal can also be political so the intimate knowledge shared within the narratives shone a light on cultic organisations and how the demand of these types of groups were experienced at a personal level, as well as the impact that they had on young and developing selves. This research invites professionals to consider that experiences of this type sit within a trauma framework that encompasses psychological, relational, emotional and physical trauma.