The shattering of motherhood: an interpretative phenomenological exploration of child-to-parent violence

The phenomenon of child to parent violence (CPV) remains an underexplored area and presents many challenges to families and professionals. Specifically, the idea of children being aggressive toward their mothers remains hard to comprehend yet, has become a growing social phenomenon. Research has mainly focused on adolescent to parent violence (APVA); however, it has become evident that this phenomenon starts to show its presence earlier than adolescence. This study addresses that gap in research and adopts a uniquely existential phenomenological lens.

Using qualitative methods, this study explores the lived experience of mothers exposed to CPV by their neurotypical biological children, aged four to 12 years. Five mothers exposed to this phenomenon provided narratives through semi-structured interviews. The data was analysed using Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis. Three group experiential themes and nine sub-themes were found. The group experiential themes identified were: The unresolvable quest; Motherhood under siege; The burden in my heart.

The findings indicate that mothers were deeply affected by the presence of CPV in their lives and faced significant barriers to finding any solutions. In their quest to gain help they struggled with the non-intervention of both services and bystanders in their lives. The findings also highlight how these mothers experience severe physical, verbal, emotional and psychological violence by the hands of their children compounded by assault in the form of people’s judgement and being let down by the services. These findings demonstrate not only an ambivalence and inner turmoil but also a clear, significant impact that CPV has on the whole family. These mothers were found to be exposed to an overtly existential crisis with the potential to shatter their and societal understanding of motherhood.

The study provides recommendations for trauma informed care and improved training along with suggestions for future research to enhance understanding.