Men making meaning after loss: a thematic analysis of men’s meaning making after the death of someone they love

The death of a loved one is a significant life event which can have devastating consequences for the bereaved, as the meaningful structures of their lives may be shattered and destroyed. The reconstruction of meaning can be helpful for those bereaved individuals who search for new meaning after the loss of a loved one as they incorporate their loss into their lives. Reviewing previous studies on meaning making after loss highlights that the majority of participants in these studies were women, with men’s voices not being robustly included. Any gender difference is therefore not demonstrated. Assuming that men and women make meaning in the same way potentially dismisses the gendered experience of men, and may leave them feeling increasingly alienated and isolated at an already difficult and isolating time. This is significant: although the numbers of men who are referred for psychological therapy are increasing, they remain low. This research aims to include male voices in the body of research about meaning making after loss. Eight male participants were interviewed about their meaning making after the death of a loved one, using semi-structured interviews. A reflexive thematic analysis was conducted to analyse what helped and what hindered this process, as well as the themes of meanings made. Three overarching themes were identified from the data: 1. Inexorable death; 2. Identity shift; 3. Meaning in human connection. What emerged was that each participant became aware of death, and the burden of loss, as a fact of life, often leading to a meaningful re-evaluation in their sense of themselves, their relationships and their actions. Sharing their experiences of loss with others was helpful, meaningful and influenced by language. Cultural understandings of masculinity affected the participants’ meaning making, and preconceived ideas of what their meaning making ‘should’ look like, as well as stereotypes of what bereaved men would like, were unhelpful. Recommendations based on the research findings include active, empathic listening to each individual bereaved person, demonstrating a curiosity and interest in their gendered experience and how this impacts their meaning making process. Future longitudinal research would be beneficial to understand the process of bereaved men’s meaning making over time.