Individual Parental Coaching (IPC) - an optional way to improve communication between parents and adolescents in conventionally structured families in Israel

This research explores the connection and influence that individual parental coaching (IPC) has on the teenager-parent relationship. Essentially, the research had two main goals, firstly to examine the possible influence of a parental coaching process, with respect to the parents’ ability to form better connections and communication with their adolescent children. Furthermore, it sought out to validate a certain perception of parenting - the notion that a parent must first establish a firm sense of "self" before taking part in parenting. As described by Ayn Rand (1943): "for one to say "I love you', one must first say the 'I', thus self-definition, purpose and meaning are the individual's significant guidelines when establishing relations with others, especially the demanding relations with teenagers. The initial assumption of the research was that individual parental coaching, would give parents an opportunity to undergo an extensive personal coaching process that would help strengthen the parents’ core values, boundaries and priorities. This would then enable them to address their parental role with confidence, conviction and flexibility, rather than confusion, fear of losing significance and control, and consequently effecting the teenager-parent equation for the better.
This was a qualitative narrative research, since the parents' life stories, as perceived and related by them, were at the base of this research. Seven Israeli families participated; heterosexual married couples that had raised at least one teenager between the ages of 13 to 18. On the one hand, the parents took part in a comprehensive coaching process consisting of ten weekly sessions; on the other hand, the teenagers filled out questionnaires, and thus were a part of the research in an indirect manner. All the data that was collected from questionnaires, coaching sessions and open interviews were analyzed using the "Theme Analysis" method, which revealed some prominent individual and parental issues that contemporary Israeli parents deal with.
Results indicate two central findings - a great appreciation on the parents' part for the opportunity to enter into a deep process of self-encounter and its benefits, despite all the difficulties along the way. The second one addressed the research question itself and showed an explicit change process in the communication and connection between parents and teenagers on varying levels, from both the parents' as well as the teenagers' points of view. Improvements included more time spent together, less anger and friction, more patience and tolerance, awareness to discourse style and word choices and an overall better atmosphere around the house. All participating parents without exception stated that it was a worthy journey, which they would recommend all parents experienced.